Are there more grown-ups or kids in the world? - Bean

My son asked me that a few days ago, and I spent a couple of minutes explaining that there are more grown-ups in the world, simply because we all spend far more of our lives being adults than we do being children. Plus, we’re all living longer than we used to, say, 100 years ago. I guess that made sense to him, because he left it there, and moved on to other things.

It’s Skye’s first birthday!

365 days have passed since she made her official debut. In all of those days she has brought me joy, laughter, comfort, and love. She is truly a gift to us and despite the frustrations that babyhood can bring, every day I try to enjoy her and not worry about the future.

Not worrying is my life’s work.

It’s especially so when she feels unwell, which she has many times in her first year. This week has been difficult, and I wish I could report that she feels 100% well on her birthday, but the unfortunate truth is that she has been very sick this week, with a terrible cold and raging fever that kept me up all night with her, two nights running. Finally, yesterday evening, I noticed an infected ear, and quickly packed her off to the walk-in for some antibiotics, where I discovered that both ears are infected.

Poof! Just like that, we are into week 2 of school, with the golden gates of summer slammed shut behind us. It’s always a bittersweet time of year, with the swimming and ice-cream-eating over, and everyone bustling, busy and getting back to school and work properly. To-do lists are long and intentions are good. We are going to be ON TIME for school everyday, no morning chaos and shouting this year!

Today is Gavin’s grandfather’s birthday. Happy birthday, Poppy!

Today is also the anniversary of Gavin’s surgery. 5 years ago, on Sunday the 20th, Father’s Day, we took Gavin to the hospital. On June 22nd, he emerged from the OR triumphant.

5 years that have been long and gone so fast. 5 years since my wee little man was found to have a giant tumour in his head. 5 years of sadness, grief and recovery. 5 years of joy, of time! Time together and apart, time to watch Bean grow and get older. Time in which I have gained so much, and learned so much. More than in all the other years of my life. These years have brought me the great gift of continued parenthood and love for my boy, and the sweet, sweet presence that is my Skye.

Fortune changes when the time comes.

Last Saturday, Gav and I were hanging around the kids’ discovery area of the ROM, our local museum, when I noticed this inscription written in Chinese on a large piece of serpentine. The placard advised us to run our fingers over the engraving, as it may bring us good luck. I reflected on those words as my fingertips traced the characters on the stone.

Skye and I spent the majority of the day today at Sick Kids. We went to have her orthopaedic hip harness installed. I’d managed to shove the fact that she had to get this thing far into a dark corner of my mind for a couple of weeks, but finally had to face facts today that this was happening.

After registering for ultrasound, I began chatting with another mother in the waiting area. Her daughter is 4 months old and they were there for Ortho clinic. Turns out her baby also needed this harness and was currently wearing it. Of course I began grilling her about what it’s been like and what difficulties it has posed.

At the beginning of 2015 I resolved to try to unhitch our lives from the constant round of medical appointments and hospital visits that has been our fate for the last five years.

We visit Sick Kids on an almost weekly basis, and have other various appointments to attend. Between the two kids, I try to keep only two per week on the schedule, and book them outside of school hours for Gavin. He’s missed a total of 20 days of school this year, and cannot afford to miss one more. But sometimes it can’t be helped.

Today Skye had an ultrasound of her head.

Over the past several months, Craig and I have debated about doing this. We didn’t want to rely on imaging to be sure of her health, the way that we have for the past five years with Gavin. But then something would happen, so we decided to do it. Then decided not to. Then decided to. Then not. And so on.

My brother was 2 years old when I was born. So he existed in a time without me, but I never existed in a time without him. As a result, my very earliest memories are of my brother’s rascally face peering over the edge of my crib. Of being liberated from said crib in the early morning to go downstairs and watch Spider-Man together. Of using my mother’s hideous 70’s terry-cloth aprons as Batman and Robin capes. Of riding Big Wheels around the block.

Here’s an overdue announcement: On October 29th, 2014, this wondrous little person entered the world. Her name is Skye Florence. She is beautiful, calm and sweet. She is a patient darling, but doesn’t hesitate to let us know she’s unhappy if she needs to. I am glad that already she knows how to speak her mind.

Only six weeks ago, she was still floating in the private universe of mum and babe, and now is here, our long-awaited little sister. When you’ve been waiting for something for many years, it’s almost surreal when the day finally comes.