A Bean’s Life

We celebrated Father’s Day yesterday at Bubby and Da’s cottage north of Toronto. The earth seemed determined to show us how beautiful and full of wonder it is. Unclouded blue skies and perfect sunshine from dawn until dusk, and various members of our wildlife family popping by for a visit. Gavin saw a beaver for the first time.

Bean’s Daddy is not a fan of gifts and hoopla, so the day’s sentiments were expressed in a simple home-made card. Gavin helped me and Bubby make pancakes, and then we all went on the first boat ride of the season. Last September, Gavin drove the boat with Da, an event which has lived large in his memory over the last nine months, so we were all quietly thrilled to take him out and have a turn at the wheel again. Of course, we had to take it easy, and did not stay out too long, but we hope it was the first of our summer lake adventures.

It is hard for me to find the right words to express my simple love and admiration for the fathers in my life. My husband has proven himself to be the strongest and hardest-working daddy I know. He has rebounded from all bad news with optimism and cheerful belief that Gavin will get better and get through it. In all cases, he has been proven right, and with Daddy’s unwavering love and support Beanie has triumphed. During all of our dark hospital days, Craig continued to get himself up and off to work, despite the fact that he had often spent a sleepless night at hospital. He gave me the chance to sleep at home to power up for my long days of toddler-entertaining. At home, Craig and Gavin get up together every morning and Daddy feeds Gavin his “opameal” and does his meds. Most nights, with quiet efficiency, Daddy does bedtime too. I am so grateful to Craig for his hard work and excellent Daddy-ness. You are an incredible person!

Father’s Day will always be a bittersweet day for us, especially so for Craig. Last year, Father’s Day fell on June 20th. One year ago today we took Gavin to Sick Kids and finally learned the terrible truth about what had been plaguing him. It is difficult to even think of those days without overwhelming feelings of grief, and guilt and sadness. As the years go on, I hope these feelings will fade, for all of us.

Although it may be difficult to celebrate, we know that we must, because we are grateful, and because we are lucky. We have had a hard year, but we have come out the other end with so much to celebrate. There were wonderful times amidst the bad. And now, we celebrate Gavin’s recovery from his most recent surgery. He seems to be almost completely back on track, coming out with clever one-liners that have us all rolling on the ground laughing, and playing, and playing and playing. Physically, he has not yet returned to where he was, but with a touch of Daddy’s endless optimism I say, It will come.

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