Sigh.  Life, will you just… I mean, come on!

The past few days have brought fresh challenges and new difficulties.  We finally met with oncology and so we now know exactly what it is that we are facing and what the plan of attack is.  Unfortunately, we were slightly misinformed as to the nature of Gavin’s particular tumour type, so the prognosis isn’t great.  We are still hopeful, but his treatment will be extreme.  We are looking at six months of chemo ahead of us, most of it in hospital with little opportunity to go home. Six months.  I can’t think six months ahead, it’s impossible.  I’m thinking only to tonight and tomorrow.

Today we decided to test his EVD – the external ventricular drain that has, for the past three weeks, been draining excess fluid out of his head, preventing hydrocephalus from forming.  Of course, we had to find out sooner or later if he could function well without it, or if he would require a permanent shunt put in.  Today was the test, and unfortunately, it didn’t work out.  He will require a shunt, and so we go back to surgery tomorrow.

Surgery.  Brain surgery, again.  I can’t take it.  But I have to, so I will.

6 Responses to “Tomorrow”

  1. erin says:

    oh Erica, I cannot even begin to imagine how you are coping day by day with all the various health care providers and different pieces of information, but then this – after feeling some hope! Stay strong, keep up hope and BIG HUGS to that incredibly brave brave little boy!


  2. Karen says:

    Day by day…it’s the only way without driving yourself crazy. it’s so hard when your only focus can be one thing. Your life’s in suspension; you’re generating all your energy for one thing only,,your wee babe and how you can help him. I know it feels that you and Craig are alone sometimes; but you’re not. Believe in that. Channel that inflow of prayers and spiritual thought.

  3. Lacey says:

    My thoughts are with Gavin and the whole family. XOXOXO

  4. Monica says:

    Dearest Erica,

    I really am stunned by how drastically someone’s reality can change from moment to moment. You are experiencing things that very few people can understand. I am so sad for you that a hospital floor has become a norm and at the same time your appreciation for small things like smiles is immeasureable. I send you all my love,positive energy and light. xo


  5. Carolyn says:

    Erica, I know there isn’t much we can do, but if you think of even the smallest thing that might help please let me know. Sean and I would like to come by one evening at the end of visiting hours and spend a bit of time with you, just let us know if you are up to doing that this week, or if next week would be better.
    let me know if I can get you any more books too.
    love carolyn

  6. danielle says:

    We have met a couple of times through Karolina, most recently at her BBQ when I was there with Kenneth and our daughter Charlotte. Karolina shared what you and Craig were going through and I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am to hear that Gavin is sick and that my thoughts and prayers go out to you during this horrible time. I do hope the very best for you and your family. xo

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