In the ICU

Gavin is sleeping peacefully under sedation for the first time in many days. No oxygen mask slipping off and plunging him into desat. As Craig said in the previous post, things seemed to go downhill very rapidly this afternoon. His nausea was worsening and he vomited continuously for the whole day, but was asleep for the most part as we had him on Ativan.

We were forced to increase his oxygen needs earlier in the day after a terrible night of vomiting, and then found this evening that even with the oxygen quite high he was no longer maintaining decent sats. CCRT came to examine him again and finally agreed it was time to go. The doctor told me quite calmly that Gavin was nowhere near a true emergent situation but it was time to take action before we reached the critical point.

Everything was organized fairly quickly and we went downstairs to Gavin’s new room in the ICU. He was exhausted and irritable from this long struggle, but still wanted to watch a DVD in bed. Once there the team set everything up and sent us out of the room while they sedated and intubated him.

Craig and I went to our old haunt, the CCU waiting room, and both wept for our baby. A little while later one of the doctors and then a nurse came out to tell us that the intubation had gone well and that he was soon to be taken to CT. We stood in the hall waiting for them to pass so we could hold his tired hand on the way by. The CT was done to determine that there was nothing happening in his brain, no problems with shunt, no hemorrhages, and no new tumours. Our staff doctor came out after a few minutes to tell us that, as far as he could tell, the scan was clear. We are breathing a massive sigh of relief on that but awaiting the final report.

Bean was then returned to his room to have several other procedures done which they need to do in the ICU. I will spare you the gory details. We were then allowed to come in and be with him for a little while. He looks better than he has in many days, as he breathes softly and slowly with the help of the respirator. We did not want it to come to this, but now that it has I am at least thankful that he can have a rest.

We then spoke to anesthesia about the lung biopsy which will go ahead tomorrow. This is still the only way to determine what is wrong with his lungs and heart. We are now in a very high risk situation. We know that there could be many complications of this surgery but must put our faith in the surgeons to do the best job they know how. The experts of this hospital are weighing in on the case. Once we have a diagnosis, steps can be taken for treatment.

Things remain so uncertain. I’m calling out to our guardian angels to protect him in his hour of need. I want to ask everyone reading this to say a powerful prayer for a successful surgery tomorrow. Meditate on healing for us and a solution to this problem. Get together with friends and family and take a few minutes to focus your energy in Gavin’s direction. Tell everyone you love today how much you love them, and remember when your kids are annoying you how wonderfully precious they are.

18 Responses to “In the ICU”

  1. Charlaine Hitchcock says:

    God Bless Gavin I will say prayers for him daily in hopes for his full recovery.God Bless you all.

  2. Aunt Karen says:

    Life is precious. My friend Ken Layton has been practicing Tonglen, and that’s what i’m trying to do right now…I’m weeping too, but that doesn’t help you and Craig, or Gavin. Tonglen focusses on meditation and visualization, taking the poison from Gavin within yourself, dispersing it, and breathing new, pure forces back into the one you’re helping. (a simplistic explanation). I’m praying for a successful surgery and an answer to this complication, so we and the doctors can help get Gavin back from this crisis. Give your Mom a big hug from her big sis.

  3. Nadia says:

    We are sending lots of love and prayers your way, always.

  4. Carol Sparks says:

    I’m sending lots of prayers and big hugs. Will keep you in my thoughts.

  5. Kelly says:

    Oh Erica – I don’t even know what to say. The experts are there and will do everything they can to help Gavin and offer him a successful surgery. Like everyone, I pray he pulls through strongly and that the risks of the surgery are more than worth it and that you get some clear information about what’s happening and how best to treat it.
    Wishing you some clarity and love, and a whole lot of strength for Gaving at this time.

  6. Cherie says:

    Praying for him with all our heart. Visualizing Gavin healthy, happy and playing at home with you and his Dad. xoxoxo Cherie and Stephan

  7. jess says:

    We are carrying you around with us today in our thoughts — an enormous hug for you all. Thank you for the reminder to remember how precious the wee ones are. It’s needed. Love love love xxx jess, graham, oliver & amelia

  8. Diana Solomon says:

    You are in our thoughts and prayers. xoxoxox diana

  9. Elaine and Emmett says:

    You are in our thoughts and prayers, lots of love Elaine and Emmett.

  10. Mairi says:

    Meet you in prayer.

  11. Jennifer says:

    Every day I check in and I want to have the right words to add some kind of comfort to such a horrible horrible time. It is so hard to know what to say, I try not to cry (not going very well), but instead I keep trying to focus on positive visualization. I envision all of us here on the outside collectively forming a circle of strength around tough little Bean (and family too) that will ward off all the sickness and complications, and get him through this dark time. Love from all of us.

  12. Elizabeth says:

    Much love and prayers – sending them out with all my energy. xo

  13. erin says:

    Gavin, you have been a constant in my thoughts of late and I know you can pull through this…oh the hell you will get away with when you are a teenager b/c nothing will ever come close to this struggle & stress your poor folks are going through now…and so this is my prayer for you – keep raising hell & fight fight fight courageous boy so down the road I can sit around with your mum and our other mum friends drinking wine complaining about all the head aches you teens are giving us…those days and many more lovely ones before that will come…2011 is soon and with it it MUST bring renewed HOPE, HEALING & Peace for you all…

    Erin & family

  14. Mette says:

    Gavin is on my mind so much today. Really praying that he turns the corner. It’s tricky once those white blood cells come in and start going to work – sometimes I think it makes them sicker for a bit before they get better. I hope that resting under sedation gives his body the space it needs to sort everything out and recover.

  15. Paul Rance says:

    I am not very good with words, and always trying to think of the right thing to say that i think will help, but nothing ever seems to be right.We want to send our thoughts and prayers to you all, and we will be keeping every thing crossed for tomorrow, all our love. X O X

  16. Carolyn says:

    Erica, My parents are asking their church to pray. we are thinking about you and Craig and Gavin constantly.

  17. Lisa says:

    I’m sending all my love and prayers and passing the message along to all the mom’s in all the groups. Stay strong. And take care of each other. All my love,

  18. Geri says:

    Praying for your little Gavin (bean) and your family. (hugs)

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