Gratitude

Today is about gratitude and thanks.

I have spent most of my life being mostly nice, but also quite selfish. I mean, most of us are self-absorbed to a certain extent, and I am no exception.  I know that I’ve been thoughtless at times, but I like to think that over the years I’ve matured.  Just a bit.

Of course, becoming a mother knocks a lot of that self-interest right out of you, because you are no longer the most important person in your life.  And honestly, there’s just no time to be all caught up in me, me, me. Yes, I admit that at many points in this journey through motherhood, I’ve wailed, “What about me? I need some time to myself! I haven’t had a haircut in six months! etc.”  I look back on that self-pity now and just have to laugh.

My life BC was, and pretty much always has been, so very sweet.  I was born in perfect health without illness or notable deformity. (okay, my feet, but you know shoes hide those.) I was born in a country that gave me, as a girl, the right to education, to vote, to marry whom I choose and to live a self-determined life.  I was born into a family that wanted me and loved me, although I didn’t always believe it, and they’ve given me a wonderful existence.  Despite all of these privileges, there have still been black hours when I felt the tips of my guardian angel’s wings brushing the top of my head.

So although mostly nice, I haven’t gone out of my way all that much to give back, if you know what I mean.  Okay, I’ve donated to charities and supported friends in fund-raising efforts, but I haven’t been that solid individual who shows up on your doorstep with a home-cooked meal when you are bed-ridden with flu.  I know now that the world is full of these people, they are all around us, waiting in the wings until they can swoop in with hugs and lasagna.

I am so very grateful for the people in my life.

I am grateful for my husband, for just getting the job done without complaint and always, always being the light to my dark.  He is such an incurable optimist, which is a wonderful antidote to us wet blankets of the world.

I am grateful for my parents, Bubby and Da, for coming to see us every day during the last three months.  I’m so thankful to Bubby for hours of endless play with Gavin and  for giving him that special, unbridled love and adoration that he needs.  I thank Da for being a voice of reason, and for finding his silly self for Gavin’s entertainment.

I am grateful for Nana and Pop, for coming across the globe to spend Gavin’s birthday with us.

I am grateful for Auntie Loz and Uncle Duncle and Uncle Ryan and Auntie Meaghan and Uncle Dion.  Gavin is a lucky nephew.

I am grateful for Tracy, Hugh and Jack for a thousand things, since Tracy and I have known each other since the dawn of time.  So just thanks  for playing today and for risotto.  You lovely people!

I am grateful for my grandmothers for being such strong and feisty women, each in their own way.  I’m grateful for all my aunties, uncles and cousins.

I am grateful for the two groups of mamas that I met through Gavin’s birth, who have been true friends with hospital visits, messages, gifts and food deliveries.  But I especially need to thank Susannah, who is one of those selfless individuals who sends me a little message almost every day, and together with her family has shown us such generosity.  We are humbled and blessed to have friends like you.

I am grateful for Rachael, Alex and Charlotte for being part of the family too and for food deliveries.  We love and appreciate you!

I am grateful for my beautiful book club friends, Naomi, Carolyn, Nadya, Monica and Kelly for being ineffably wise, for letting me show up without reading the book and for allowing me to cry into my home-made ice cream.  We have been eating Naomi-provided meals since Friday night, and probably will continue to do so for several days.  Your generous spirit is awe-inspiring, Naomi.

I am grateful to all our other friends and neighbours out there, here, around the world and down under for continuing to send us thoughts and prayers.  I am grateful for long-lost friends who’ve contacted me since the beginning of all this to send support our way.

I’m grateful for the friends of friends and total strangers who’ve reached out to us with gifts and words of encouragement.

I am grateful for the nurses, (although I cordially dislike them sometimes), for doing such a hard job and letting me cry on their shoulders.

Although they sometimes make it hard, I’m grateful to everyone at Sick Kids for, well, everything.

I am grateful for my son, for being the night-sky meteor that fills my world with light.